You poor bastards. My thoughts are with you at this dreadful time.
Sure, it seems like a lark now, everything is closed. No school. No work. No nothing. But sooner or later you’ll have to go out there and contend with all that crap. Tires will spin. Feet will slip. The only thing that’ll run freely is your nose.
The snowstorm could have been worse, of course, but that is absolutely no consolation. Not when you’re talking about snow plummeting at the rate of two inches an hour. In my book, that isn’t a snowfall — it’s an avalanche.
Take my advice and stay home until it melts. If you simply must dig yourself out, however, use a flamethrower. Shoveling’s for suckers.