Illinois, a state whose sole purpose is the support of corrupt, sleazy politicians, has stopped paying its lottery winners. Should those hapless suckers win more than $600, they’ll be presented with a non-negotiable, completely worthless IOU. Suitable for framing.
Hey, Illinois is a little short of cash, okay? Maybe the state will pony up later, maybe it won’t, who knows? Just stop whining and go away. State officials aren’t psychics. They can’t predict the future.
Hmm, well, here’s a thought: stop selling the goddam tickets.
Clearly, our financial distress was caused by a deep intellectual bankruptcy. Hang on tight, kids, we’re hurtling straight for cataclysm. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.