Everything. But let’s start with the truck itself. That is a truck, right? It appears to have the square footage of a boxcar. And are those side view mirrors or medicine cabinets mounted on the doors? Notice, too, the wide, load-bearing hips. What self-respecting man buys a truck with hips? Ah, I see, the hips accommodate the extra tires.
Who needs a truck that freakishly oversized? Someone with serious issues is my guess, judging by the obnoxious parking job. Him’s doesn’t want door dings on his precious wittle twuck, so he takes up two full spaces, allowing plenty of room for clearance. A good two to three feet on each flank by my estimate. This being the holidays, when everyone and their uncle is looking for a parking place, behavior of this sort really chaps my cheeks.
Some yahoo runs out and buys a flashy, ginormous truck, then refuses to abide by the most basic rules of conduct. Heck, I’ve seen Hummers wedged into spaces clearly designated for Subcompacts. No one factors in the consequences when they buy these beasts and they ignore reality when faced with it. It used to be the luxury car crowd — drivers of Jaguars and Mercedes and BMWs — who hogged too much space. Now it’s monster trucks and titanic SUVs, vehicles with pituitary problems. It’s just so annoying.
And one last thing: check out the weather. Grim and wet and cold and wintry. Four words that should never, ever be in the same sentence. We need to think warm thoughts, people. It’s time to send winter on its way and beckon spring to get a move on.