a valentine’s day hypothesis

father_sonor dad, is that you?ornament

You know, if Darth Vader could father Luke Skywalker, this isn’t a stretch. Far from it: Liberace is obviously Donald Trump’s real father. Seriously. Look for yourself, the likeness is uncanny. And the similarities do not end there.

They’re both gaudy and flashy with an unnatural proclivity for lurid tastelessness. Not an occasional lapse or error in judgment, but a vulgar flamboyance that can only be congenital. They’re also both fond of capes, which is unusual; they’re hair-proud, oversensitive, and harbor a desperate need for the spotlight.

All that can’t be mere coincidence. What do we actually know about Trump’s parentage, after all? Weren’t there some whispers about his ‘father’ and the kkk? Well, pffft, that doesn’t prove anything. Bullying is learned behavior. Pompous windbaggery, too. Trump could’ve picked up those skills anywhere. That flamboyance, though, that has to be inbred. A genetic predisposition.

The similarities shared by Lee (as Liberace liked to be called) and The Donald (as Trump liked to be called) are too striking to dismiss. The one wrench is talent: Liberace had some, Trump? No, not unless you consider overstatement and buffoonery talents. Most of us don’t.

So there you have it. A curious hypothesis on this snowy Valentine’s Day. Now, if you want far-fetched and preposterous, I can do that, too. Caitlyn Jenner — aka Bruce Jenner — was Trump’s biological mother. Or, possibly, his twin. Add Krusty the Clown to the mix and, voila, triplets.

Have a lovely and lighthearted Valentine’s Day!

heart w:wingscopyright © 2016 little ittys

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