Don’t panic, it’s just my birthday cake. I tried to blow it out, but I was overcome by smoke and began hyperventilating. It was like trying to blow out a forest fire. Luckily, neighbors saw the flames and called the fire department; by then I’d already singed off my eyebrows, though. That’s one of the problems of getting old — birthdays become a fire hazard.
So I’m going to take the day off and do absolutely nothing. Except buy a book. And a coffee. And have my burns looked at. That’s one of the advantages of getting old — you can do whatever the Hell you feel like. The senior citizen discount is pretty sweet, too. Cheers.
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