Unwilling to accept the Trump administration’s lame explanations for the President’s wildly deranged behavior, I launched my own investigation into his genealogy. Frankly, I expected to discover a family history of insanity or some type of genetic kink.
He can’t properly be described as a man with that Rubenesque body. He’s not a woman, either, although there’s an abnormal softness to his appearance, a distinct femininity. I don’t know if it’s the hair or the bustline or the hips, but it’s off-putting.
Now, normally, a DNA test is required to decode genetic information, but we’re in unusual, fact-free times, so I did the analysis myself. And I’m absolutely 100% certain of my conclusion: Donald Trump is a dingleberry. What is a dingleberry, you ask? Inside sources at the New Oxford American Dictionary explain it this way:
Mr. Trump wasn’t born; he was discharged from bowels. Most likely the bowels of a forest creature. Badger would be my guess, or maybe polecat. Something in the weasel family, at any rate. Pass it on.
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