Seek immediate shelter. Mr. Trump is scheduled for release on Friday and may be coming to a country near you. Please let him in, we need a breather.
The lunatic gasbag will be traveling overseas on his first international trip as President. Disaster and international incidents will surely follow. With unfettered hubris, he’ll introduce his own spectacular brand of upheaval to far-flung corners of the world. He’ll have fresh audiences to offend, new damage to inflict on America. Trump’s Loose Cannon Tour is set to begin in Saudi Arabia, then he’s off to Israel, Rome, Brussels, and Italy. You all have my deepest, sincerest apologies.
For your own safety and peace of mind, here’s a basic list of instructions:
» Do not approach him.
» Avoid eye contact.
» Adopt a submissive pose.
» Express admiration for crowd size.
» Don’t turn your back.
He isn’t contagious, as far as we know, but exhibits a virulent strain of crazy. Outbursts of irrational behavior and fantastical pronouncements are common characteristics. He also displays a heightened sense of self-importance accompanied by a grossly distended ego. Use extreme caution.
Better yet, park him in a golf cart, hand him a mirror, and back away slowly. Good luck. And, please, don’t return him. Thank you.
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