Between Sideshow Don (the yu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-ugest, most destructive man-made disaster ever in recorded history), the GOP, hurricanes, mass shootings, the loss of Mary Tyler Moore, and so much more, we’ve taken a long and relentless beating. On the plus side, there’s Robert Mueller and … um, hang on, there’s uh, Robert Mueller and?!?!
Well, crap, there has to be something. Oh, I know, forced air heating. We’d be dead without that little miracle of ingenuity. It’s flipping brutal outside, brittle and still. Simply trudging across the barren, deserted snowscape unleashes an eerie symphony of cracking and snapping and crunching; it’s like walking on a bed of breadsticks the snowy ground is so frozen.
The sobering reality is: it’s colder here in Illinois than in Antarctica. Something has gone terribly, horribly, alarmingly wrong in this world. And the fool in charge of our poor, beleaguered country dismisses it as fake news. Please, I’m begging you, please vote in 2018. That’s the only hope we have.
In the meantime, bundle up, bucko.
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