Welcome to the heyday of stoopid. Percipience is at historic lows, while boneheadedness is in full, fragrant bloom. Here, in America, we’re operating at a ‘check-for-a-heartbeat, there’s-no-brain-activity’ level of stoopid. It’s awesome. Rather than an organic deficiency, our ignorance has its roots in willfulness. We’re zealous in our absolute refusal to think. Or explore. Or … Continue reading these are gloriously stoopid times
You’ve never seen anyone dance before? Well, get used to it. The singing, too, because I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. When the mood strikes I go with it. It might appear I’m having a seizure or sound as though I’m in pain, but I’m not. What I’m doing is ignoring you and your stuffy … Continue reading and what are you staring at?
And, of course, that someone is me. I was weak and caved in to temptation, so it’s my own damn fault. However, I was acting under the influence of the New York Times, so let’s blame them. Why should I take the rap alone, right? You see, an article I read encouraged readers to loosen … Continue reading someone’s going to pay
There’s an old notion that says the older you get the more you become your mother. Well, that’s wrong. I’m old, but nothing at all like my mother, dammit. I can’t cook or apply makeup; I can’t wear heels, nor am I graceful or poised or competent. What I am is an unmade bed. But … Continue reading measuring myself against my mother
Now that it's warm and, occasionally, sunny, I like to put my life on the line and go walking. Sometimes far, sometimes wide, but always dicey. It's only May, barely a month into springtime, and already there's been bloodshed. Copious amounts of blood, in fact. All mine. By the quart, or the pint, at least. Last … Continue reading close, but no skull fracture